What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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I have an idea! You leave.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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bite me

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I was going to tell a gay joke. But that would offensive

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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What is white and can fly? A fridge that can't fly.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They have drinks, pay for them, then get into a car crash killing a mom and her daughter returning home from selecting a wedding dress. The wedding is canceled. Rate This Comment 0

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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