Fat? Jesse Z

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

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What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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kennah campion when she talks

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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