Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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here's a joke... the american education society

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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Why do so many people like writting really bad anti jokes? Said Santa Claus

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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What do you call a Mexican? Whatever his name is you racist.

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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What's Gay and has a penis? Justin Bieber, I lied about the penis

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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