What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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KKK: Hey i was just comming over here to invite you to a church gathering me and my buddies are having later on tonight, and afterwards we are going to have a big bon-fire to fire up our spirits. Black guy: OK sounds great. White people sure are nice now-a-days.

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

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your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Text Klarens at 317-653-8695. Tell him crazy shit or send crazy pictures.

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Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

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eoin burgin is fat

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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