Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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if you don't like this you're gay

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Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

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roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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