How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? their friend.

Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

I like that, but why am I happy?

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

What did the plane say to the ground when they hit each other Boom

Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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