There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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What funny about AIDS nothing its a terrible disease

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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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Okay.

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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A guy walks into a bar

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your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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how do you upset a black guy kill his family :)

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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