Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

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Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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