4/20 is a holiday just like Christmas.. I lied you just get baked

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A guy walks into a bar, unfortunately for him, he walked in on a huge bar fight and managed to get the hell knocked out of him as he entered the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops