A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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A bar walks into a man

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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