What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

It's yellow and you'll die when it comes into your eye. A taxi.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Dane Cook makes a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than r-a-p-e? Gang r-a-p-e.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If you were a cactus, why?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane from Mexico City to Los Angeles? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops