My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops