How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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