Whats bigger than a tree A bigger tree

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

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How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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