Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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bangers and mash?

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops