What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

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i found waldo.

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Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

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"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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A cheetah walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve re cheetah, as cheetahs are an endangered species and does not want to risk the cheetah succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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The New York Giants

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so i was on anti joke and i read a joke, it made me laugh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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