A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

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Are you the only 10 I see? Because I'm blind.

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You: Why did hitler go to hell? Them: Why? You: You're an idiot.

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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How do you make a anti-joke on this website? Type it out, click I have read and agree to the Terms of Service, then press submit.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Yo mamas so fat she is obese

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

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What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

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What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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Why is 3 less than 4? To get to the other side

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Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

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Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

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Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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