Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

How do you make a little girl cry?

Two guys walk into a bar. They have drinks, pay for them, then get into a car crash killing a mom and her daughter returning home from selecting a wedding dress. The wedding is canceled. Rate This Comment 0

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because its rayseans favorite number

Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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