A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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person 1: i have a good knock knock joke person 2: ok what is it? person 1: say knock knock! person 2: knock knock person 1: trollollollollollollo

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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whats white jizz

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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