What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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Once a upon a time there were three kittens that die, the end :D

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops