Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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