How's the weather? Good.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did a blonde and a Puerto Rican name their baby? Joshua, after the blonde's grandfather who passed away a year earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the dog die? He was old

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops