What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

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Why do people make jokes about cancer? Oviously to get thier ass kicked!!! -BY:KOLBY HOOKS

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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