how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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How did Chris die? Bush-fire

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Why's it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis.

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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