Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops