Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

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Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops