Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

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What did Susie do when the music was too loud Nothing

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Knock knock Come in

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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it was all Tagart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops