Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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