Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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