Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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roses are red violets are blue they are pretty and you are not

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken? That one! Grandma, that's a hobo. Put your glasses on.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Knock knock, Who's there Why did the chicken cross the road? Idiot.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

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Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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