What's long and black The unemployment line

two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

I had 99 problems Solved them all

What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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