What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... So he didn't get Mono from Janelle.

Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

Niggas be like you ugly and you playing hard to get, yo ass already hard to want!

Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

Your momma is so ugly she gave freedy krooger nightmares!

why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...