Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

Robin, get in the car, please.

A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

- Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Repeat falls off, who's left? - Pete? - F**k yes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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