Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Do you know what's hilarious? Not rape.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

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Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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