Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

Why Do Black People Love Watermelon? Because Its A Delicious Fruit.

How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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