What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops