Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human languages, promptly shits on the floor and leaves...

what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? Two piles of dead babies.

why did the boy fall of his bike He got shot in the face

Well, you see, I'm an extractor fan.

A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

Q: Whats blue and white and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A: A tree wearing a denim jacket.

Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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