What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops