What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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