Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mums a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is Hitler's favourite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue Eyes, White Dragon.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is square and grey? A grey square.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops