Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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Get Outta Here We're Closed!

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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