Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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Your girlfriend.

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops