What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father! Luke: You're not my dad!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHA PENIS

Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

What did John name his dog? Doggy

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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