There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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like most people my age. im 27

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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