A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Why did the Nazi Doctor drown a Jew in the lake? To see how long it would take a Jew to drown with its big nose. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No, but considering there has not been a single man to walk on the moon since 1972, it'd be difficult to generate any kind of revenue on this natural satellite.

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What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

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What's cooler than living on the sun? Everything, because the sun is the hottest entity in the entire universe. Plus, who'd want to live on the sun?

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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