What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of.

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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And then Jesus turned the water into wine. Some did not approve of this miracle "masta, whut is da reezon you did aint make this into tha coolaid? Bible files: Directors cut.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops