If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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whats funny about anti jokes? nothing hince the name ANTI.

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your momma is so fat she has diabetes

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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