Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? When your apples a human

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

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I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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