what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

thumb_up thumb_down

how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

thumb_up thumb_down

You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

thumb_up thumb_down

There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down

You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

thumb_up thumb_down

what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

thumb_up thumb_down

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down

Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

thumb_up thumb_down

Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

thumb_up thumb_down

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

thumb_up thumb_down

good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

thumb_up thumb_down

Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

thumb_up thumb_down

What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down

A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

thumb_up thumb_down

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down

knock knock? who's there.......... MEEEE :D hehe

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops