What do you do when you find a black guy bleeding on your porch? You should call an ambulance! This man is hurt!

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

what's worse than finding an worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple.

Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

Nobody cares maddie!

Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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