- Anti Joke

A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

what did the black mother think of her daghter's white boyfreind? i dont know i cant read minds

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot