What do you get when you cross an Indian and a duck? An Indian duck.

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

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How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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among liedbtt is my Captcha code

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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A Christian walks into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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So this guy walks into a bar, & says "I'll have a beer"........ Yup

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What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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why didnt the man go to the wedding? he wasnt invited.

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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Hey are you from tennessee? Because I recognize your accent and I grew up there also.

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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