Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are on a cruise together. A horrifying accident occurs, sinking the boat and killing all of them. Their deaths are mourned by their respective family members.

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A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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Hello everyone, if you couldnt tell, the most popular joke was removed because it wasnt even an antijoke, if you have a joke that isnt an antijoke, post it somewhere else, if you dont know what an antijoke even is then get the f*ck out, thumbs up if you agree with me

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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How many people of a certain demographic does it take to change a light bulb? x+1 (x >0), 1 person to change the lightbulb and x to behave in a manner consistent with the established stereotype of said demographic.

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

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There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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