How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Tony Romo

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

h

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops