What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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Penis

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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