Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

what do you call a black chef glendon

Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

What's been hit millions of times? A woman married to an abusive husband.

Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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