Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

A man walks into a bar... OW!!!

Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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